it began with water

01, cottonwood

moose in the willows
stellar jays flashing blue through the trees
fish holding in the cold current

quiet places
that seem to know more about life
than I do

---

I spent a lot of time there this past year
driving slowly up the canyon
watching water levels rise and fall
mostly   listening

---

but more than anything
Cottonwood was water

the sound of it
the way the creek gives life to the canyon
without needing to announce itself

under bridges
past trailheads
through rock   snow   trees   memory

---

for many years
I had lived mostly in my mind

software   meetings   screens   strategy

and somewhere inside all that effort
I forgot how to feel things
the way I used to

---

intellectually experiencing life
and feeling your way through it
are such different ways to live

---

Cottonwood brought me back
to something older

maybe since I was a teenager
sleeping outside near the Snake River
back when the mountains felt like part of life

---

the beginning was water

and water knows
how to find what has hardened

and slowly
make it soft again

---

this song marked the beginning
of remembering
who I have always been